One mom is over the shaming of daycare. After noticing other moms tote around the idea that they could not be more “grateful” that they don’t “have” to put their kids in daycare, she’s had enough.

“I hate the narrative that if you send your kids to daycare, you’re not raising them,” TikTok creator Veronica said in her latest video before initiating some of the toxic and judgmental messaging she’s seen being spread by other moms on social media.

“And people are like, ‘Oh, you know, we made some sacrifices, my kid used to have fun at Water Day, but now we go to the water park together’ and she’s better for it,’” she imitated.

“One, that’s not an option for every family. So, stop making moms feel like crap because they send their kids to daycare. Two, my kid freaking loves Water Day and daycare. In fact, she gets pissed when I pick her up ’cause she’s having fun with her friends.”

She continued, “Three, she’s so, so smart because they teach her so many things there. So smart. And four, I’m raising her. Like, I’m instilling morals with her. I see her more than her daycare teacher sees her. I can raise her and she can still have fun at school. They’re not mutually exclusive like things. So this narrative, this mom sheen for working moms, it’s gotta go. It’s not cute.”

Several TikTok users agreed with Veronica’s sentiment, commenting on the video with their own opinions.

“Daycare simply expands the village that helps your children thrive. It’s so good socially and doesn’t take away anything from parenting. It enriches it,” one user wrote.

Another said, “My question to all the moms that feel that way, are they planning to stop raising their kids when they start kindergarten? like do they think they’re just done when they start 5k?”

“It’s really frustrating when people assume daycare is something negative. I often say that we WANT her in school, she’s learning so much and has great social skills and independence,” another said.

Others agreed but countered that stay-at-home moms were also judged for their decision to not work a traditional job.

“I agree 100% but it’s kinda insane how much I’m shamed for being a SAHM. Why can’t we just do what we gotta do and stop judging each other,” they wrote.

I think the moral of the story here is that no matter what women decide to do once they have kids, we’re doomed to be thought of as failures by one group or another!